6-25-2019

He woke two times during the night and the chief complaint was that he was cold. In spite of sleeping in his stocking hat, down shirt, hoodie, socks and pajama pants he was not getting warm under the comforter. It was a queen size and he had it all. I was in a sleeping bag with an annoying zipper that got stuck every time I had to get out to help him.

I don’t know what the temp was inside our trailer but the weather app said it was 59 degrees outside. His first remark, beside how cold he was, was about the sky temperature and one of his friends being right about radiant heat, blah, blah, blah… I had to laugh (inwardly) at his observation during the night when I was up helping him, standing around waiting in T-shirt and underwear. “I’m glad you have more fat than I do, to keep you warm,” he said. He followed up with a disclaimer that he didn’t mean I was fat, just that I had more fat than he did. I know he feels he has lost weight (can’t keep his pants up) but even with that the remark was funny.

My plan to warm him up was to get the truck going, stick him in it and go to breakfast in some nice warm place, with coffee. We were at the Robin’s Nest at 7 when it opened.

Sometime in the last few weeks he has lost sight of the reasons for eating Keto. Protein has become a naughty word because the Lewy bodies are misfolded proteins. It’s now complex carbohydrate all the way. He had a big breakfast of oatmeal and raisin toast and one egg. That’s why I was surprised, after a couple hours hanging out at the church, that he wanted to ask Mom to go to lunch with us. We picked her up at 1 pm and went to Norski Nook and again were stuffed.

In discussing the rest of the day, and picking Mom up, I discovered that he now doesn’t even want to be in the driveways of either of our condos. Five minutes, in the car, in the driveway sets his progress back. He can feel the electricity. I parked a distance away near the garden where he thought it would be okay but he told me when I came back that it wasn’t a good spot either.

Is this really our life for the future? In order to have any time in my own home I have to take him back to the meadow and leave him there. That’s what I did. He insisted that I bring my brother’s propane heater out, in case it’s cold again tonight. And tied up in all this, is the sky temperature which is evidently much colder than it should be because “they” are seeding it. Climate manipulation.

His most prevalent problem is with delusion and the “foggy” forgetful times. The delusion is persistent. The forgetfulness comes and goes minute by minute and always surprises me. Today he forgot how to get to the bathroom in the church, a place he has been dozens of times. He doesn’t hear because he won’t wear the hearing aides, and he sees more poorly all the time and comments about it. He is disabled to the point that he crows over things like being able to put on his shirt, or pick something up from the floor, or get out of bed by himself.

I don’t recognize our life anymore.