I spent the week after the husband’s death thinking about his memorial service. I was afraid that if I didn’t have something right away, the pace of life would accelerate and make it harder to return to that needed task. I needed whatever measure of closure a service could provide.

The church was available June 30. We were penciled in for a 1:00 pm slot and the planning began. And that is how it has to be done – I picked a time convenient for my purposes and then found out who could be there and who couldn’t. It’s very hard to find a time that’s good for everyone.

I was surprised, as the word spread, that many friends and relatives were making time in their busy lives to come. Since Dennis had been disabled, at best, for the last five years we had been in Hayward, I was concerned that our gathering would be small. Not many knew him well. I wanted to make sure that those who did come would know him better when they left.

I knew that one important person would probably not be there – daughter Julia, who was due to have her first child 20 days later. It would not be in their best interest to make that trip from North Carolina to Wisconsin. We planned the service to be shared live online, since our church had that capability. It was a good choice since nearly as many watched online as were present in person.

Family began to gather the weekend prior to the service. In between fixing meals and visiting, ideas were presented, volunteers were conscripted, and plans fell into place. Every time I wondered how to do something, the answer came to light shortly afterward. I did not worry. I enjoyed the planning, and I was greatly blessed by the service. It was what I needed, and I think others found it meaningful as well.

One of the striking moments of the service came at the end. A recording of one of Dennis’s favorite songs was played, followed by an audio clip that he left on daughter Esther’s phone. Hearing him speak that message to her was like hearing him speak from the other side of death. It was joyful and full of hope, and that is how Dennis should be remembered. And I expect that now his joy is even more real, and all his hopes have been realized.

Many who heard the song have asked to hear it again. This is the link to click for the song “Slow Down” by Chuck Girard

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=OAiKCpX8KtE&feature=share

It’s over, and hardly seems real.